First off, I think the title of this blog should be “When I’m a famous writer I will...”, instead of the bland, hope-for-the-best ‘If I were…’. I learned this at a presentation by a man named Ed Gerety, who is an amazing, amazing speaker.
So, WHEN I’m a famous author I WILL…
1. Have a crew come in and completely tear up the “landscaping” (for lack of a better word) in my yard and start from scratch.
2. Have a second crew come in and completely tear off the outside of the house and replace it with clapboards and shingles.
3. Have yet another crew come in and tear out the inside of the house and re-do pretty much everything.
4. Buy a caboose and a short length of track, have it set up in the yard, and have a crew come in (probably the same ones from #2) and restore it to its original condition, but outfitted to serve as my new office. (Right now, my “office” is a spot at the kitchen counter, right above the litter box.)
5. Buy all new vehicles for the 6 of us (except Kristen, who ‘loves’ her car. For her, I’ll just put the money aside for later). Nothing too fancy; I’m not talking Beamers and Mercedes, just good quality, good mileage cars.
6. Make sure to take a nice vacation or two every year.
7. Set up some sort of foundation to contribute to several favorite charities.
8. Get a job somewhere teaching creative writing.
9. I almost forgot; pay off all the kids’ school loans.
I wonder what it says about me that all I focused on was the money???? This actually sounds kind of like my “When I win the lottery…” list. It’s funny, I just estimated the total of this whole list and it comes to somewhere between 400-500 thousand. That’s an awful lot of money, but to put it in perspective, it’s roughly the equivalent of winning a million bucks.
I just read through the list again. I guess I’d better get back to work on my latest book.